God's Greatest Gift

Thank You! These are the two words that every man should say to those who have sacrificed themselves to better our own lives. These unintended positive externalities most likely were not important to this population of people, but men around the world benefit from their lifestyle. Whether you’re a Republican, Democrat, Atheist or Conservative you should treat these gay men with the gratitude that they deserve and I will tell you why. So, thank you to the homosexual community that everyday makes sure that us heterosexual men do not have to compete with you.

Disclaimers:

Before I go any further, for those of you in Uganda or Russia you may want to share this with your friends via an anonymous email account as your legislative branches have in the past made it quite clear that they are not fond of homosexuality.

For the women out there that may be disappointed in this article because I fail to tell you the benefits you'll receive, I hope this satirical argument makes you smile a little bit and is a helpful reminder to men that you chose them despite our clear inability to be the fairer species.

The Past:

Conservative individuals, or those who think being conservative means making up a fictitious timeframe in the 1950s after World War 2 when America was “perfect.”  I would agree with them if it wasn’t for segregation, gender inequality, carving up of the Middle East and Africa and many other atrocities that history tells us about. If we were to go back further we would find that each decade there were themes or ideas that nowadays we would find fault. From the pedophiles of the Greek and Roman Empires to the Tibetan dictator like punishments subjected to their people. Even Mother Teresa’s belief that all those who were dying should suffer like Jesus, or Mahatma Ghandi’s articles published in many languages that the local Indian population in Africa was not like the indigenous Africans who were one step removed from animals.  Before I go off on a tangent, let me explain why even if you believe that men should not date other men you should embrace this idea.

My Argument:

Let’s take a hypothetical individual, we will call him Jimmy. Jimmy is a normal man of unflattering characteristics with a boring yet stable job. He doesn’t have much fashion sense and his desire to explore the world and be adventurous is best labeled as non-existent, but if you ask him he would say “I would love to travel someday.” Ashley, Jimmy’s date for tonight, is a well accomplished independent woman who took full advantage of the women’s suffrage movement and has earned herself a respectable job. Due to her believing she would be subjected to an unfair advantage in the work force, she worked diligently and networked better than the best of her male counterparts. She dresses well, enjoys putting on make-up and maintains her fitness level in the mornings so that she can have a good productive day. In a fair world and environment, this date never would have happened, but due to them both living in Washington DC the gayest city in the United States, Jimmy has the opportunity of dating Ashley. The selection bias has skewed results to Jimmy’s advantage.

I’m not a fan of prejudging others, but many men in the homosexual community prefer a better fashion sense, eat finer cuisine, enjoy cooking, like to shop, are extroverted, love to laugh and keep themselves in shape, while some of their heterosexual counterparts sit on the couch watching football, eating unhealthy take out, drinking cheap beer and peeing on the toilet seats. Of course women would prefer them over you, and if you blind idiotic men continue to force this issue and prevent them from being together in your ideal world, you will have many more nights to spend Harry Palmer Jr. Though you make think that homosexuality is a choice, or you may believe that it is an innate desire, these reasons are unimportant. What is important is that us single men have an advantage and our sons and son’s sons will reap the benefits for many years to come.

So next time you are out and you see two gay men at a bar, send a drink their way to thank them for all that they have done to make sure us heterosexual men don’t have to compete with them and their fancy clothes and emotional awareness. At this point the ladies maybe thinking, why in the world should we be thankful?  Sadly, there is no silver lining or easy way to say this, or as James Brown sang, “It’s a Man’s World.” According to Lesbian Life,1.3% of women think of themselves as homosexual and 2.8% of women think of themselves as bisexual. Though you have the right to vote, express your feelings, be respected in your workplace (though not financially), your pool of selection ranges isn’t that great these days, so if you find a good one, I’d keep him because good old Jimmy is out there looking for you.

In All Honesty:

On a serious note, this author firmly believes that everyone should have the right to do whatever they please as long as it does not adversely affect anyone else.

Till Then.

Pigmentation's Useless Importance

African-American is a relatively new term given to a group of people who “historically” were brought over to the Americas via vessels and were assimilated against their will to live and become today’s generic African-Americans.  But like all things, the farther back you go the more you’ll realize that these people are not the original people from Africa to have made it the Americas.  To be factual about our origins and generational diasporas that have occurred since we could ambulate on two legs, all of us that now reside in the United States of America have our origin in Africa and are now living in America.  That uneducated term is reluctantly, if at all applied to White/Caucasian people who have moved to the United States and are simply labelled by whatever perfunctory term best suits them.

This post initially was born to explain the wonders and dynamics of traveling, but as “way leads on to way, I doubt if I ever shall come back.”  A favorite quote of mine, from Robert Frost in The Road Not Taken, is how I wanted to illustrate the beauties of opening your mind. But as I went on my tangent, I realized there was a more poignant and interesting post that could be written first.  

Race, as defined by the authoritative Merriam-Webster is, “a group of persons who come from the same ancestor.”  How far back must the ancestral line be? Could it define tribes or groups of people in the Amazonian regions as belonging to a separate race or are they simply just, “Natives” or “Native Americans?”  I travel not to visit the Turkish Race, or the Swedish Race nor the European Race, but it is to eat and learn about another culture.  Webster’s defines this word as being, “a particular society that has its own beliefs, ways of life, art, etc.”  Let’s take myself for instance, for those that simply will look at my photo, and the brief synopsis of my past would classify me as an African-American, my parents on the other hand would consider me to be a West Indian, and my Turkish friend simply calls me an Arab.  What’s the truth?  Wikipedia probably has the best definition of what I am, a Third Culture Child, but the true story is I’m a West Indian national who was born in the Middle East and raised there till I went to high school in the United States.  My educational yearning years took place in Connecticut, my early dating years were influenced by the Orlando area, but my educated and refining years took place in Washington DC.  And now, my professional lifestyle is gaining some influence from the Dallas area.

So, do I think I’m special?  No, I don’t think anyone is special or has a particular characteristic that is unique, the characteristics that we are comprised of does however make us special.  Race is no more important than a person’s height, eye color or weight.  These are features that may help us find a mate, or someone who you would enjoy doing like activities with, but they do not tell you anything about the person.  History tends to repeat itself as do sayings, such as “don’t judge a book by it’s cover”.  I challenge all who read this to listen to yourselves and friends when they make uneducated comments about another person’s race to correct themselves or their friend’s comments.

It is in this author’s opinion that one could be understood by the cultural traits they exemplify if defining an individual into a large group is necessary.  This could range from the Portenos of Buenos Aires to the hip hop culture portrayed by many different races.   Some of the fears of the late 70s and 80s were that a little white boy may listen to the hip hop music and be influenced and moved by it and be drawn “down” to that level.  I believe a Mr. Marshall Mathers would disagree with that theory, as would the many Producers, DJs, and Corporate Executives whose wealth is based on that industry.  Cultures are rich, full, unpredictable and for the most part they do not make any sense at all.  They do things in a certain way for a reason that may be outdated or silly, but it helps define that particular culture.  Whether they are characterized as German or American cold or Hispanic and Italian warm it is fascinating to see what these people of one race have become as individuals.  

I leave with this note that is geared towards my current hometown and many in America; just because his last name is Cruz, he may not be an undocumented illegal immigrant living under the radar and driving without insurance.  Then again, there are many things about Senator Ted Cruz that would not surprise me.

Till then.