Making Your Community Your Home

"Thank You," "Thanks," "I appreciate your service," "Great job," "Ata Boy/Girl," "Excellent job" and "I’m glad for your time" are all words that are not said often enough.  Watching the Super Bowl on Sunday and working at the VA Hospital, I noticed that in the United States we are taught (and to a point indoctrinated) to respect the women and men that are in our Armed Forces and to provide congratulatory words of praise for their service to the country that we all live in.   When these words are said to the Veterans at the hospital, I notice a change immediately in their morale as they unexpectedly are placed in a position where they are now being thanked for their service by their service provider.  They tend to stand up straighter, become a little bit more serious, and take on a position as a representative of the Armed Forces, rather than patient John Doe there for their knee problems.  This instantaneous moment of pride, humility and self-congratulation, shows that it is not only worthy of our time to show our appreciation, but we can also provide someone who could have been having a bad or mediocre day the push need to return their focus on the great things they have accomplished to get to that moment.   So why do we not say thanks to those people who have provided some benefit in our lives more often?

Just Doing My Job

We all have jobs where we are required to deal with a certain amount of financial awareness of our employers needs -- the reason we were hired.  At times we may lose sight of this, but management is usually there to remind us of why we were hired, but in some industries this is conveyed in a circumvented way.  Coined sayings such as, “for patient care,” or “to reduce healthcare costs,” are some of the think tank terms used to say "because I want you to do this," or "we won’t get reimbursed if you do that."  This narrow-minded view is no different than a company looking to make profit on a quarterly basis versus a yearly basis.  As managers are pushed towards making short term gains, the long term picture is lost leading to disappointing year-end reports and financial statements.  Though told by management that customer service is important, even the most dimwitted of us knows that this is not what they truly want.  So in the end, no matter what industry you are working in, you may feel like you are just doing your job (Dr. Walks 6 Miles in Snow Storm to Perform Surgery).   

So how can this cycle of lost guidance be changed and refocused on what is the most vital thing for any company, satisfied customers?  From my experience being bilingual has changed my perspective on medicine tremendously.  My English speaking patients when I work in a community or private hospital, go online or get advice from a friend and come to the office with preconceived notions.  They tell me their symptoms, and in some cases try and lead me down a path to the diagnosis and medication that they believe is best for them.  Should I go down a path of questioning that is not to their liking, they will try to guide me back to their line of thinking and in some cases they will get frustrated should I not provide them the drug or test they sought.  My Spanish speaking patients on the other hand, will tell me their problems and issues and will ask for my guidance.  In the end they will thank me for my service and share a quick smile before going on their way.  As a side note, my biggest concern with the patient population here in Texas is they are constantly worried about when they can return to work and they will try and guide me down a path to get me to provide unmedically sound advice to return to work.  In the end, patient encounters are always welcoming when you feel not only that you helped someone by educating them about their ailment, but also that they appreciated you taking your time to make sure you did your best to get the right answer.  In those moments the idea of good customer service, profit margins and earnings do not matter as humility, pride and a feeling of self-worth fills any void that day had created.

The Challenge

So we should ask, how can we make sure that we as a nation, society or world community have better lives and days?  Well there are a few words you can say to those close to you, or those who provide various services to you.  There are teachers, doctors, lawyers, technicians, bankers, nurses, paralegals, servers and janitors who go into work and are harbored with the idea that making more money will bring happiness or maybe provide for a more fruitful life, but sometimes the best connections are offline.  Instead of clicking the Like button on Facebook, why not tell someone in person, “That makes a lot of sense, I never thought of it that way,” or “Thanks for teaching me about this issue. I understand it a little bit better now.”  This builds trust, and makes those who are providing the service more eager to maintain that trust and provide you with great service.  Since I was young I have befriended the workers to bosses and treated each one the same and thanked them in the same manner.  The janitors in my grade school, the field worker of my college baseball stadium, the service people at my apartment during medical school and now those who work in the VA and my private hospital.  They are told "Thank You," "Thanks," "Great Job," "Thanks for letting me know," and even "Good morning, how are you doing today?" 

Bill Clinton is famous for making a person feeling as if they were the only person in the room.   Whether it is true or not, he has received thanks and jeers alike, but in the end people always walk away with a smile.   None of us are a number; none of us are a simple service provider.  So go out of your way every day and try and say "Thank You" to someone who didn’t expect it and eventually maybe everyone will understand why it can be better to give than it is to receive.

Till Then.

God's Greatest Gift

Thank You! These are the two words that every man should say to those who have sacrificed themselves to better our own lives. These unintended positive externalities most likely were not important to this population of people, but men around the world benefit from their lifestyle. Whether you’re a Republican, Democrat, Atheist or Conservative you should treat these gay men with the gratitude that they deserve and I will tell you why. So, thank you to the homosexual community that everyday makes sure that us heterosexual men do not have to compete with you.

Disclaimers:

Before I go any further, for those of you in Uganda or Russia you may want to share this with your friends via an anonymous email account as your legislative branches have in the past made it quite clear that they are not fond of homosexuality.

For the women out there that may be disappointed in this article because I fail to tell you the benefits you'll receive, I hope this satirical argument makes you smile a little bit and is a helpful reminder to men that you chose them despite our clear inability to be the fairer species.

The Past:

Conservative individuals, or those who think being conservative means making up a fictitious timeframe in the 1950s after World War 2 when America was “perfect.”  I would agree with them if it wasn’t for segregation, gender inequality, carving up of the Middle East and Africa and many other atrocities that history tells us about. If we were to go back further we would find that each decade there were themes or ideas that nowadays we would find fault. From the pedophiles of the Greek and Roman Empires to the Tibetan dictator like punishments subjected to their people. Even Mother Teresa’s belief that all those who were dying should suffer like Jesus, or Mahatma Ghandi’s articles published in many languages that the local Indian population in Africa was not like the indigenous Africans who were one step removed from animals.  Before I go off on a tangent, let me explain why even if you believe that men should not date other men you should embrace this idea.

My Argument:

Let’s take a hypothetical individual, we will call him Jimmy. Jimmy is a normal man of unflattering characteristics with a boring yet stable job. He doesn’t have much fashion sense and his desire to explore the world and be adventurous is best labeled as non-existent, but if you ask him he would say “I would love to travel someday.” Ashley, Jimmy’s date for tonight, is a well accomplished independent woman who took full advantage of the women’s suffrage movement and has earned herself a respectable job. Due to her believing she would be subjected to an unfair advantage in the work force, she worked diligently and networked better than the best of her male counterparts. She dresses well, enjoys putting on make-up and maintains her fitness level in the mornings so that she can have a good productive day. In a fair world and environment, this date never would have happened, but due to them both living in Washington DC the gayest city in the United States, Jimmy has the opportunity of dating Ashley. The selection bias has skewed results to Jimmy’s advantage.

I’m not a fan of prejudging others, but many men in the homosexual community prefer a better fashion sense, eat finer cuisine, enjoy cooking, like to shop, are extroverted, love to laugh and keep themselves in shape, while some of their heterosexual counterparts sit on the couch watching football, eating unhealthy take out, drinking cheap beer and peeing on the toilet seats. Of course women would prefer them over you, and if you blind idiotic men continue to force this issue and prevent them from being together in your ideal world, you will have many more nights to spend Harry Palmer Jr. Though you make think that homosexuality is a choice, or you may believe that it is an innate desire, these reasons are unimportant. What is important is that us single men have an advantage and our sons and son’s sons will reap the benefits for many years to come.

So next time you are out and you see two gay men at a bar, send a drink their way to thank them for all that they have done to make sure us heterosexual men don’t have to compete with them and their fancy clothes and emotional awareness. At this point the ladies maybe thinking, why in the world should we be thankful?  Sadly, there is no silver lining or easy way to say this, or as James Brown sang, “It’s a Man’s World.” According to Lesbian Life,1.3% of women think of themselves as homosexual and 2.8% of women think of themselves as bisexual. Though you have the right to vote, express your feelings, be respected in your workplace (though not financially), your pool of selection ranges isn’t that great these days, so if you find a good one, I’d keep him because good old Jimmy is out there looking for you.

In All Honesty:

On a serious note, this author firmly believes that everyone should have the right to do whatever they please as long as it does not adversely affect anyone else.

Till Then.

Ignorance Isn't Blissful

“Country roads, Take me home, To the place I belong” are the immortal words sang by John Denver, and artist I refuse to listen to days before any plane ride due to his untimely death.  That said, his lyrical ability to create beautiful sceneries is something that I’ve always appreciated as I’m stuck indoors under florescent lights with pseudo flooring as ill, damaged or dismembered patients await my service.  Though I love what I do for a living, my favorite hobby for which I spend most days thinking about is traveling and exploring the world’s various wonders, valleys, mountains, lakes and cultures that I’ve failed to educate myself about.

But traveling is expensive, out of my reach and just not doable for someone in my position.  This is the lie that people constantly tell themselves especially here in the United States.  I would say there are 3 main false barriers that people feel they are not able to circumvent.  Breaking down these walls will allow you to travel with confidence that you can open up your world from the small dot that is represents.

 

NUMBER 1:
First being the financially daunting cost of traveling as foretold by the Travel Agency Gods.  My roommate - and, yes, I have a roommate so that I can save money to travel -  came to me this year and explained to me that her school was having a trip in Italy to Rome and the Tuscany region.  It would only be for 8 days, would include food and accommodations, and tours all for the low price of $6,500 USD if at least 20 people went on the trip.  This would be for double occupancy and you would have to book your own flight of course.  For those that haven’t had the chance to travel much, that price is ridiculous!  It is taking advantage of students and a culture in which people are most likely unaware of the costs of traveling abroad and assume Europe with its Euros is expensive.  For Thanksgiving 2012 I went on an 11 day vacation from Dallas to Venice, from there I went to Croatia for a few days, then Slovenia for a couple of days, then trained to Florence and ended up my last few days in Rome.  Including my flight, hotel, transportation, food and miscellaneous expenses I spent under $2,500 and that includes the cost of flying my friend in from Turkey.  If you use websites like AirBnB or VacationRentals you can rent your own apartment or home and have all the comforts that a home offers.  For those of you who are students Hostel World, and if even more adventurous, Couch Surfing can assist you in finding affordable accommodations.

 

This is not all done without sacrifices, well what appear to be sacrifices to others, but for me it is simply a well thought out calculation.  By cutting out a cable bill, but keeping internet and switching to a phone service without a contract, I’ve reduced my expenses per month by about $100, which equates to $1,200/ year.  Now add in not eating out that often or my abstination from drinking out, since a bottle of wine for $9 is usually marked up to $36 when going out.  That alone can save you $100-$200/month.  Add in with other savings, such as sharing rent, and we are talking about $2,400 to $3,600/year or more. That amount of savings is enough to fly to Belize, eat well, stay in a nice place and return with gifts for far less than $2,400 for two people.  I only know because I did that trip last year during the high season.

 

NUMBER 2:
I don’t know if it is safe for me to travel.  My friends are hard to organize to go on a trip and I won’t go by myself.  Do they have all-inclusive resorts there?  Though I may understand one’s insecurity when it comes to going abroad or visiting a new place, and sometimes irrational thoughts and behaviors have an innate reason for existing to be protective.  But I do not believe that ignorance is bliss and there is a lot more to learn about the world and oneself than there is to lose.  If you have not traveled a lot, or have never ventured abroad I would choose a developed country over a developing country to begin.  The infrastructure, information, assistance from agencies and footprints of previous travelers are well ingrained in developed countries allowing you to travel with much ease.  There are developing countries like Costa Rica, Belize, Peru, Ecuador and Thailand that have a robust travel industry that also makes them an easy destination to plan from abroad. 

 

When traveling the only way to make sure you are alone, is to go stay in a hotel.  These are boring, dry and usually possess no inherent character of the local culture as they were most likely designed by a “creative” team in another country that read some books on the local culture, if at all.  While I was in San Carlos De Bariloche, Argentina a family of four from France were staying in the same hostel as I was, they did not share a room or bathroom with anyone else, just a room for themselves and another one for their children.  This allowed them to travel on a budget, retain their comforts and mingle with locals at the same time.  The worst hostel is no different than the worst hotel and I would never recommend them, but by using Hostel International or Hostel World you can travel alone, but as anyone who has stayed in a hostel knows, you’re never alone.

 

For my female readers I shall solely refer to my friend, let’s call her EB who amazes me with her various adventures.  At this moment she could be state-side, still working in Afghanistan or finishing up her trip up the East Coast of Africa before it was interrupted with her job opportunity in the Middle East.  She has lived East Asia, North America, Western Europe and now the Middle East all by herself as a confident woman who takes all the necessary precautions that are needed.  As previously stated, I would choose a location that is easily traveled to for your first trip, but there are many women out there who have conquered the world alone and their hard work should not be forgotten.

 

NUMBER 3:
This complaint really is the silliest of them and it saddens me people consider this to be a real reason to remain ignorant of the world.  Even here in the States I’ll hear people making fun of the fact they cannot do this task as well as locals.   English is the most widely spoken language in the world and only the second most spoken language to Chinese (Mandarin and Cantonese).  Through my experiences I find Spanish to be the second most beneficial language to understand as those two languages can easily help anyone conquer North and South America.  The moment I stepped off the plane in Argentina I could only say hello and goodbye.  When I left I was holding conversations and well immersed in the culture and to this day still miss it.  If you are not able to speak the language that is okay, since you’re reading this, it means you speak English and in most countries English is the form of communication for the travel industry.  From the cabs of Cyprus to the Train Stations in Budapest, English is well accepted and present on every ATM machine around the world.  It is one of the United States greatest exports via music, movies, and sports stars.  People love the fact they can practice with you, so dare you try to speak the local language they will probably insist on speaking English instead.  Don’t let that prevent you from learning the local language though, a friend of mine let’s say MF, did the same in Honduras for 3 years and to this day she has retained friends she has made there and is still interested in the news coming out of the country.

 

Final Thought
On this last note I would like to remind you of a man who not until his job forced him to travel, remained in the United States and never visited another country.  He was wealthy, well connected, famous and could easily have hired his own plane to fly him around the world, yet he stayed state-side.  He left office as Africa’s most favorite President, and ended up spending his 67th birthday there. President George W. Bush waited what was almost a lifetime before experiencing the wonders of traveling, and we all should learn that most of the time, it is the mind that holds most of us back, never the actual challenge. Live for the journey, since the destinations have always been there awaiting our presence.

Till Then.