Security In InSecurity

This past week I heard the claim that no ill that has begotten man was ever done without someone's insecurity being the culprit of it all.  This idea got me thinking about many of today's problems and issues that have in some way brought about a detrimental lifestyle to individuals or societies.  What insecurities do you as a reader have that have hindered your ability to fully enjoy life?  What problems in your life are you masking today, and presenting a false impression of yourself so that you feel as if you "fit in" better?  I will outline three of the major issues I find that many people can fix in order to make their lives more fulfilling for themselves, their friends, and in some cases their partners.  The only downside is that you may have to judge yourself wholeheartedly and without reservation to see if you too have these pitfalls.

Example #1
I've always found that calling out a person on their character flaws and providing evidence only leads to them coming up with baseless evidence to in some way prove they don't harbor such traits, therefore I shall present different scenarios to see if you have this particular insecurity in your life.  In a group setting with a few people that you know, from work or from friendships, do you prefer to have a glass of wine to ease yourself into conversation?  Do you find yourself being the life of the party or fun/funny when you have a drink in hand?  Are networking events, or company parties a big hassle to attend?  In all of these situations the individual is forced to interact with people that may not know them, or can in some way have some effect on their future vertical mobility vocationally.  If a person does not have confidence in their ability to converse, entertain, engage with others or provide a witty remark, then they most likely are not confident in their social skills.  Though they maybe fine with close friends, family members or colleagues, the unknown participant interactions in some way may be taxing to these people.  Being insecure in your ability to associate with others is a common skill learned on the school yard and built upon as you continue to interact with others during gym class, recess, social clubs/organizations, or athletic participation.  The more groups one places themselves into, the more confidence they may have to be able to talk with people of various socioeconomic, political and cultural backgrounds.  By harboring a child or adult in a small microcosmic environment where all of those in their daily lives experience similar events and moments hinders their ability to find commonality with others.  What's the solution?  Well if you don't think you have characteristic #2 or #3, then continue to the solution at the end for the answer.

Example #2
Though I may believe the first one is the most important on a daily basis and may lead to unnecessarily inebriated outings, this particular form of insecurity affects one's surrounds the most.  As a person who does some form of shooting weekly I maybe slightly biased to this particular insecurity, but my small insight into this world since moving to Texas may have also given me an additional advantage to understanding it better.  At night do you keep a weapon nearby in case an intruder enters your home so that you are able to protect your family?  Do you or your spouse find yourselves always facing the door or with your back against the wall when you go out to eat?  If you had a gun at bedside and heard someone at night entering your child filled home would you shoot them as they climbed the stairs?  Do you suffer from ILS also known as Imaginary Lat Syndrome?  These are all traits that are common in those who suffer from hyper vigilance, or the fear of the unknown.  Statistically there are neighborhoods and places in the world where burglary, assault, rape and many other violating acts are a high propensity for the population size of the area.  In these security climates, hyper vigilance may not exist and having adequate amount of safety barriers to protect oneself or their family members may be warranted.  Those who live in a high socioeconomic neighborhood, gated communities, multi-acre farms, and regular neighborhoods with low crime rates have less of a claim or reason for the level of paranoia that may exist.  A great example is that of the man in Iowa who covered his house with black trash bags in case of a terrorist attack after 9-11, or the veteran coming back from Iraq who keeps a loaded weapon at bedside in a quiet neighborhood, or the person who has a weapon whether it is a knife, shotgun or handgun placed throughout the home just in case something happens.  Crimes happen to unsuspecting individuals, which are unfortunate and a risk anyone takes by being alive. It is possible that as you are reading this blog your coworker, neighbor, friend, or family member for a reason unbeknownst to you has the idea of harming, violating or killing you and you have no way of defending yourself.  As said in the children's movie The Croods, "Fear keeps us alive." It is the livelihood phrase of those with hyper vigilance.  Becoming a member of society, knowing your neighbors, owning a dog as a pet and possible early warning system, and taking basic safety measure can prevent you from making a mistake.  The example above of a person climbing the stairs at night was one told to me by an exonerated father who shot his daughter who snuck home at night after being out.  If he would have had a dog, a baseball bat, or something not as easy to shoot as a gun, she may still be alive.  What's the solution? Well get through number 3 and you'll have your answer.

Example #3
Given that this is an election year, there are a lot of campaign advertisements that I'm now noticing while running at the gym.  So on that theme, do you find yourself agreeing always with one political party?  Does one topic or idea promoted by a candidate outweigh any possible benefit that candidate may provide the country?  Is your idea of discussing or debating political ideologies to follow talking points heard from news networks or infomercials?  Though I may be cherry-picking from the average political commercial, pundit or individual on the street, I do include anyone that presents a point of view, thought, advice or knowledge without any evidence, in depth knowledge, or even experience with the subject.  The greatest benefit of the internet and having smart phones is the relative ease one can look up a piece of information.  From Siri to Google Talk we no longer have to even type in what piece of information we are looking for, we just say, "Where was Barack Obama Born?" Within 5 minutes you could find the conspiracy theories and definitive answer based on evidence.   You may ask, why is this an insecurity?  Well this all lays into the fact that most people are not confident in their own common sense and knowledge base and would prefer to follow the herd.  Cake the musical group once stated, "Sheep go to Heaven, Goats go to Hell" and many of you follow and believe in this philosophy by staying with the herd.  Dare you go against it and have a mind of your own?  That could bring animosity and questions from others that you don't believe what you are told and that you may have a mind of your own.  To quote Christopher Hitchens, “The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”  By changing the way you think and take in information you may actually learn to be more skeptical and more informed.  Surrounding yourself with like minded individuals can only breed an increased level of ignorance and decreased ability to associate with others.  How can this be fixed, well read below and my answer lies within.

Anti-Autistic Lifestyle
I have personally been promoting this way of thinking after noticing my friend's newborn that has a difficulty with doing the same thing for any prolonged period of time.  Whether it is feeding, playing, being held or being allowed to play on her own, she constantly has a yearning to do different things.  Classically in autistic individuals they lose the cerebral plasticity or ability to grow new neurons and hence have a negative connotation with change.  Familiar environments, people, experiences and activities are easiest for those with this life changing trait.  But the majority of readers reading this are not autistic and they have the ability to challenge their brain to new activities without negative consequences.  The easiest way to apply this to your life is to think of your daily routine and change it up with someone different and new.  An active individual's Monday may have them going to work, then the gym afterwards, home to have dinner and watching a particular show or reading until bedtime.  Maybe a happy hour with friends or dinner with a date maybe on board, but for the most part that day's schedule has been etched in stone.  A simple change would be going to the gym in the morning or continue with the afternoon gym class but not wearing headphones and saying hello to those around you.  After working out, consider going to a restaurant, bar, exhibit, local event and getting to know a new environment.  Most of us that live in a city have many neighborhood events or activities that we fail to take part in, from Groupons for rock climbing to Living Social deals to learn how to dance.  By taking an approach to broaden your predictable horizon you will increase your ability and comfort in associating with others, feel at home and comforted in your community and surroundings, and possibly be able to hold an in depth conversation on various topics.  If more people win back what a presenter on Ted Talks stated as being the dumbing of a culture, we may actually be able to debate issues besides abortion, gay marriage and the EPA.

Till Then.

God's Greatest Gift

Thank You! These are the two words that every man should say to those who have sacrificed themselves to better our own lives. These unintended positive externalities most likely were not important to this population of people, but men around the world benefit from their lifestyle. Whether you’re a Republican, Democrat, Atheist or Conservative you should treat these gay men with the gratitude that they deserve and I will tell you why. So, thank you to the homosexual community that everyday makes sure that us heterosexual men do not have to compete with you.

Disclaimers:

Before I go any further, for those of you in Uganda or Russia you may want to share this with your friends via an anonymous email account as your legislative branches have in the past made it quite clear that they are not fond of homosexuality.

For the women out there that may be disappointed in this article because I fail to tell you the benefits you'll receive, I hope this satirical argument makes you smile a little bit and is a helpful reminder to men that you chose them despite our clear inability to be the fairer species.

The Past:

Conservative individuals, or those who think being conservative means making up a fictitious timeframe in the 1950s after World War 2 when America was “perfect.”  I would agree with them if it wasn’t for segregation, gender inequality, carving up of the Middle East and Africa and many other atrocities that history tells us about. If we were to go back further we would find that each decade there were themes or ideas that nowadays we would find fault. From the pedophiles of the Greek and Roman Empires to the Tibetan dictator like punishments subjected to their people. Even Mother Teresa’s belief that all those who were dying should suffer like Jesus, or Mahatma Ghandi’s articles published in many languages that the local Indian population in Africa was not like the indigenous Africans who were one step removed from animals.  Before I go off on a tangent, let me explain why even if you believe that men should not date other men you should embrace this idea.

My Argument:

Let’s take a hypothetical individual, we will call him Jimmy. Jimmy is a normal man of unflattering characteristics with a boring yet stable job. He doesn’t have much fashion sense and his desire to explore the world and be adventurous is best labeled as non-existent, but if you ask him he would say “I would love to travel someday.” Ashley, Jimmy’s date for tonight, is a well accomplished independent woman who took full advantage of the women’s suffrage movement and has earned herself a respectable job. Due to her believing she would be subjected to an unfair advantage in the work force, she worked diligently and networked better than the best of her male counterparts. She dresses well, enjoys putting on make-up and maintains her fitness level in the mornings so that she can have a good productive day. In a fair world and environment, this date never would have happened, but due to them both living in Washington DC the gayest city in the United States, Jimmy has the opportunity of dating Ashley. The selection bias has skewed results to Jimmy’s advantage.

I’m not a fan of prejudging others, but many men in the homosexual community prefer a better fashion sense, eat finer cuisine, enjoy cooking, like to shop, are extroverted, love to laugh and keep themselves in shape, while some of their heterosexual counterparts sit on the couch watching football, eating unhealthy take out, drinking cheap beer and peeing on the toilet seats. Of course women would prefer them over you, and if you blind idiotic men continue to force this issue and prevent them from being together in your ideal world, you will have many more nights to spend Harry Palmer Jr. Though you make think that homosexuality is a choice, or you may believe that it is an innate desire, these reasons are unimportant. What is important is that us single men have an advantage and our sons and son’s sons will reap the benefits for many years to come.

So next time you are out and you see two gay men at a bar, send a drink their way to thank them for all that they have done to make sure us heterosexual men don’t have to compete with them and their fancy clothes and emotional awareness. At this point the ladies maybe thinking, why in the world should we be thankful?  Sadly, there is no silver lining or easy way to say this, or as James Brown sang, “It’s a Man’s World.” According to Lesbian Life,1.3% of women think of themselves as homosexual and 2.8% of women think of themselves as bisexual. Though you have the right to vote, express your feelings, be respected in your workplace (though not financially), your pool of selection ranges isn’t that great these days, so if you find a good one, I’d keep him because good old Jimmy is out there looking for you.

In All Honesty:

On a serious note, this author firmly believes that everyone should have the right to do whatever they please as long as it does not adversely affect anyone else.

Till Then.